Leave your comments about marriage and divorce here

We invite you to submit your comments about marriage and divorce here, possibly your personal experience(s) of them, ideally not writing at great length – experience on blogs tells us that the longer the comment, the less likely it will be read. There’s no need to leave any identifying details such as an email address.

We recommend you use a pseudonym so that your identity can’t be discovered, thereby saving you from a possible charge of libel, if anyone should dispute your version of events. Maybe you could relate your experience in such a way that anyone reading your story would learn key lessons from it. Thank you for contributing.


6 Responses to Leave your comments about marriage and divorce here

  1. J Shirls says:

    One will save about $1,000,000 in a lifetime by having no spouse or dependents. Sentimentalists claim that a wife is priceless and that you cannot put a monetary value on her, but their life insurance policy on their loved ones says otherwise.

  2. Here is why I will never get married…

    Feminist Quotes
    The following is a collection of quotes about feminism and human rights:

    “I feel that ‘man-hating’ is an honorable and viable political act, that the oppressed have a right to class-hatred against the class that is oppressing them.”
    ~Robin Morgan, Ms. magazine editor

    Marriage is for women the commonest mode of livelihood, and the total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution. ~Bertrand Russell, Marriage and Morals

    “The simple fact is that every woman must be willing to be identified as a lesbian to be fully feminist.”
    ~National NOW Times, January 1988

    “The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness…can be trained to do most things.” — Jilly Cooper, SCUM

    “In Order to Raise Children with Equality, we Must Take Them Away From Families and Communally Raise Them” -Dr Mary Jo Bane

    “We can’t destroy the inequities between men and women until we destroy marriage.”
    ~Robin Morgan, from Sisterhood Is Powerful (ed.), 1970, p. 537

    “All sex, even consensual sex between a married couple, is an act of violence perpetrated against a woman.” — Catherine MacKinnon

    “I claim that rape exists any time sexual intercourse occurs when it has not been initiated by the woman, out of her own genuine affection and desire.”
    — Robin Morgan

    “I call it rape whenever a woman has sex and feels violated.”
    — Catherine MacKinnon

    “Men who are unjustly accused of rape can sometimes gain from the experience.”
    ~Catherine Comins, Vassar College, assistant dean of Student Life in Time, June 3, 1991, p. 52

    “The most merciful thing a large family can do to one of its infant members is to kill it.”
    ~Margaret Sanger, founder of Planned Parenthood, in Women and the New Race, p. 67

    “To call a man an animal is to flatter him; he’s a machine, a walking dildo.”
    ~Valerie Solanas

    “I want to see a man beaten to a bloody pulp with a high-heel shoved in his mouth, like an apple in the mouth of a pig.”
    ~Andrea Dworkin

    “The more famous and powerful I get the more power I have to hurt men.”
    ~Sharon Stone

    The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it. ~Roseanne Barr

    “In a patriarchal society, all heterosexual intercourse is rape because women, as a group, are not strong enough to give meaningful consent.”
    ~Catherine MacKinnon (prominent legal feminist scholar, University of Michigan & Yale University)

    “When a woman reaches orgasm with a man she is only collaborating with the patriarchal system, eroticizing her own oppression.” — Sheila Jeffrys

    “The proportion of men must be reduced to and maintained at approximately 10% of the human race.”
    ~Sally Miller Gearhart

    When two people marry they become in the eyes of the law one person, and that one person is the husband. ~Shana Alexander, State-by-State Guide to Women’s Legal Rights, 1975

    “Probably the only place where a man can feel really secure is in a maximum security prison, except for the imminent threat of release.” — Germaine Greer.

    “All men are rapists and that’s all they are.”
    ~Marilyn French

    “Women have always been the primary victims of war. Women lose their husbands, their fathers, their sons in combat.”
    ~Hillary Clinton

    Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men. ~Joseph Conrad

    “I believe that women have a capacity for understanding and compassion which a man structurally does not have, does not have it because he cannot have it. He’s just incapable of it.”
    ~Former Congresswoman Barbara Jordan

    “I wonder if he [Martin Luther King] really accomplished things, or if he just stirred people up and caused a lot of riots.”
    ~Melbourne City Councilwoman Pat Poole on her opposition to renaming a street for Martin Luther King

    When asked: “You [Greer] were once quoted as saying your idea of the ideal man is a woman with a dick. Are you still that way inclined?”
    Dr Greer (denying that she said it): “I have a great deal of difficulty with the idea of the ideal man. As far as I’m concerned, men are the product of a damaged gene. They pretend to be normal but what they’re doing sitting there with benign smiles on their faces is they’re manufacturing sperm. They do it all the time. They never stop. I mean, we women are more reasonable. We pop one follicle every 28 days, whereas they are producing 400 million sperm for each ejaculation, most of which don’t take place anywhere near an ovum. I don’t know that the ecosphere can tolerate it.”
    ~Germaine Greer, at a Hilton Hotel literary lunch, promoting her book The Change: Women, Aging and the Menopause; from a newsreport dated November 14, 1991

    “How will the family unit be destroyed? … the demand alone will throw the whole ideology of the family into question, so that women can begin establishing a community of work with each other and we can fight collectively. Women will feel freer to leave their husbands and become economically independent, either through a job or welfare.”
    ~Roxanne Dunbar in her essay “Female Liberation as the Basis for Social Revolution”

    “We are, as a sex, infinitely superior to men …”
    ~Elizabeth Stanton in One Woman, One Vote, Marjorie Spruille Wheeler (ed.), p. 58

    “Who cares how men feel or what they do or whether they suffer? They have had over 2000 years to dominate and made a complete hash of it. Now it is our turn. My only comment to men is, if you don’t like it, bad luck—and if you get in my way I’ll run you down.”
    ~Signed: Liberated Women, Boronia; from the Herald-Sun, Melbourne, Australia, February 9, 1996

    “As long as some men use physical force to subjugate females, all men need not. The knowledge that some men do suffices to threaten all women. He can beat or kill the woman he claims to love; he can rape women … he can sexually molest his daughters … THE VAST MAJORITY OF MEN IN THE WORLD DO ONE OR MORE OF THE ABOVE.” ~Marilyn French

    “Rape is nothing more or less than a conscious process of intimidation by which all men keep all women in a state of fear” — Susan Brownmiller; Authoress of Against Our Will p.6

    “All men are good for is fucking, and running over with a truck.”
    ~Statement made by a University of Maine feminist administrator, quoted by Richard Dinsmore, who brought a successful civil suit against the university in the amount of $600,000. Dinsmore had protested the quote; was dismissed thereafter on the grounds of harassment; and responded by bringing suit against the university, which was settled successfully in 1995

    “If the classroom situation is very heteropatriarchal—a large beginning class of 50 to 60 students, say, with few feminist students—I am likely to define my task as largely one of recruitment … of persuading students that women are oppressed.”
    ~Professor Joyce Trebilcot of Washington University, as quoted in Christina Hoff Sommers’ book Who Stole Feminism: How Women Have Betrayed Women (1995)

    “Although consideration of male victims is within the scope of the legal statutes, it is important to restrict the term rape to instances where male victims were penetrated by offenders. It is inappropriate to consider as a rape victim a man who engages in unwanted sexual intercourse with a woman.” – Mary Koss

    ”Feminism is the theory, lesbianism is the practice.” — Ti-Grace Atkinson

    “The institution of sexual intercourse is anti-feminist” — Ti-Grace Atkinson

    “Men love death. In everything they make, they hollow out a central place for death, let its rancid smell contaminate every dimension of whatever still survives. Men especially love murder. In art they celebrate it, and in life they commit it. They embrace murder as if life without it would be devoid of passion, meaning, and action, as if murder were solace, stilling their sobs as they mourn the emptiness and alienation of their lives.” — Andrea Dworkin

    “The annihilation of a woman’s personality, individuality, will, character, is prerequisite to male sexuality.” — Andrea Dworkin

    “We are, as a sex, infinitely superior to men” Elizabeth Cady Stanton

    “The proportion of men must be reduced to and maintained at approximately 10% of the human race” -Sally Miller Gearhart

    Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, “She doesn’t have what it takes.” They will say, “Women don’t have what it takes.” ~Clare Boothe Luce

    I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a door mat or a prostitute. ~Rebecca West, “Mr Chesterton in Hysterics: A Study in Prejudice,” The Clarion, 14 Nov 1913, reprinted in The Young Rebecca, 1982

    Women have been taught that, for us, the earth is flat, and that if we venture out, we will fall off the edge. ~Author Unknown

    The emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says, “It’s a girl.” ~Shirley Chisholm

    Women belong in the house… and the Senate. ~Author Unknown

    I think it’s about time we voted for senators with breasts. After all, we’ve been voting for boobs long enough. ~Clarie Sargent, Arizona senatorial candidate
    Never let the hand you hold, hold you down. ~Author Unknown

    Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels. ~Faith Whittlesey

    I wish someone would have told me that, just because I’m a girl, I don’t have to get married. ~Marlo Thomas

    Women are the only oppressed group in our society that lives in intimate association with their opressors. ~Evelyn Cunningham

    Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There’s just too much fraternizing with the enemy. ~Henry Kissinger

    Feminism is the radical notion that women are people. ~Cheris Kramarae and Paula Treichler

    Man endures pain as an undeserved punishment; woman accepts it as a natural heritage. ~Author Unknown

    Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. ~Timothy Leary

    I see my body as an instrument, rather than an ornament. ~Alanis Morissette, quoted in Reader’s Digest, March 2000

    I’m tough, I’m ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay. ~Madonna Ciccone

    I was told that whistling wasn’t ladylike, but I knew even then that women were simply not supposed to be that happy. ~Anonymous, quoted in Kindling the Spirit by Lois P. Frankel

    When I see the elaborate study and ingenuity displayed by women in the pursuit of trifles, I feel no doubt of their capacity for the most herculean undertakings. ~Julia Ward Howe

    Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths. ~Lois Wyse

    No woman is required to build the world by destroying herself. ~Rabbi Sofer
    I became a feminist as an alternative to becoming a masochist. ~Sally Kempton,

    It was we, the people; not we, the white male citizens; nor yet we, the male citizens; but we, the whole people, who formed the Union…. Men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less. ~Susan B. Anthony

    One of the things about equality is not just that you be treated equally to a man, but that you treat yourself equally to the way you treat a man. ~Marlo Thomas

    I ask no favors for my sex…. All I ask of our brethren is that they will take their feet from off our necks. ~Sarah Moore Grimké

    I am working for the time when unqualified blacks, browns, and women join the unqualified men in running our government. ~Cissy Farenthold

    There are very few jobs that actually require a penis or vagina. All other jobs should be open to everybody. ~Florynce Kennedy
    The test for whether or not you can hold a job should not be the arrangement of your chromosomes. ~Bella Abzug

    I’ve yet to be on a campus where most women weren’t worrying about some aspect of combining marriage, children, and a career. I’ve yet to find one where many men were worrying about the same thing. ~Gloria Steinem

    I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tunafish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. ~Barbara Grizzuti Harrison
    Feminism directly confronts the idea that one person or set of people [has] the right to impose definitions of reality on others. ~Liz Stanley and Sue Wise
    I asked a Burmese why women, after centuries of following their men, now walk ahead. He said there were many unexploded land mines since the war. ~Robert Mueller

    Resolved, that the women of this nation in 1876, have greater cause for discontent, rebellion and revolution than the men of 1776. ~Susan B. Anthony

    A woman reading Playboy feels a little like a Jew reading a Nazi manual. ~Gloria Steinem

    The world has never yet seen a truly great and virtuous nation because in the degradation of woman the very fountains of life are poisoned at their source. ~Lucretia Mott

    It matters more what’s in a woman’s face than what’s on it. ~Claudette Colbert, quoted in Kindling the Spirit by Lois P. Frankel

    Men will often admit other women are oppressed but not you. ~Sheila Rowbotham

    Most women are one man away from welfare. ~Gloria Steinem

    Every time we liberate a woman, we liberate a man. ~Margaret Mead

    Women’s chains have been forged by men, not by anatomy. ~Estelle R. Ramey

    I would have girls regard themselves not as adjectives but as nouns. ~Elizabeth Cady Stanton, “Our Girls”

    Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. ~Gloria Steinem

    If all men are born free, how is it that all women are born slaves? ~Mary Astell

    I listen to feminists and all these radical gals – most of them are failures. They’ve blown it. Some of them have been married, but they married some Casper Milquetoast who asked permission to go to the bathroom. These women just need a man in the house. That’s all they need. Most of the feminists need a man to tell them what time of day it is and to lead them home. And they blew it and they’re mad at all men. Feminists hate men. They’re sexist. They hate men – that’s their problem. ~Reverend Jerry Falwell

    [Feminism is] a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians. ~Pat Robertson

    I think, therefore I’m single. ~Lizz Winstead

    I can’t be a rose in any man’s lapel. ~Margaret Trudeau

    Taught from infancy that beauty is woman’s scepter, the mind shapes itself to the body, and roaming round its gilt cage, only seeks to adorn its prison. ~Mary Wollstonecraft

    The only jobs for which no man is qualified are human incubators and wet nurse. Likewise, the only job for which no woman is or can be qualified is sperm donor. ~Wilma Scott Heide

    Whether women are better than men I cannot say – but I can say they are certainly no worse. ~Golda Meir

    Give a woman a job and she grows balls. ~Jack Gelber

    Several men I can think of are as capable, as smart, as funny, as compassionate, and as confused – as remarkable you might say – as most women. ~Jane Howard

    Not only is women’s work never done, the definition keeps changing. ~Bill Copeland

    No man is as anti-feminist as a really feminine woman. ~Frank O’Connor

    Men weren’t really the enemy – they were fellow victims suffering from an outmoded masculine mystique that made them feel unnecessarily inadequate when there were no bears to kill. ~Betty Friedan

    Scratch most feminists and underneath there is a woman who longs to be a sex object. The difference is that is not all she wants to be. ~Betty Rollin

    Why is it that men can be bastards and women must wear pearls and smile? ~Lynn Hecht Schafren

    Isn’t that the problem? That women have been swindled for centuries into substituting adornment for love, fashion (as it were) for passion? ~Erica Jong

    Young wives are the leading asset of corporate power. They want the suburbs, a house, a settled life, and respectability. They want society to see that they have exchanged themselves for something of value. ~Ralph Nader

    Nobody objects to a woman being a good writer or sculptor or geneticist if at the same time she manages to be a good wife, a good mother, good-looking, good-tempered, well-dressed, well-groomed, and unaggressive. ~Marya Mannes

    Women are the only exploited group in history to have been idealized into powerlessness. ~Erica Jong

    To me, “sexual freedom” means freedom from having to have sex. ~Lily Tomlin

    And the crazy part of it was even if you were clever, even if you spent your adolescence reading John Donne and Shaw, even if you studied history or zoology or physics and hoped to spend your life pursuing some difficult and challenging career, you still had a mind full of all the soupy longings that every high-school girl was awash in… underneath it, all you longed to be was annihilated by love, to be swept off your feet, to be filled up by a giant prick spouting sperm, soapsuds, silk and satins and, of course, money. ~Erica Jong

    When a woman behaves like a man, why doesn’t she behave like a nice man? ~Edith Evans

    We have to have faith in ourselves. I have never met a woman who, deep down in her core, really believes she has great legs. And if she suspects that she might have great legs, then she’s convinced that she has a shrill voice and no neck. ~Cynthia Heimel

    The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces. ~Maureen Murphy

    Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences. ~Isadora Duncan

    It’s hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head. ~Sally Kempton, Esquire, 1970

    I’m just a person trapped inside a woman’s body. ~Elaine Boosler

    Women are not the weak, frail little flowers that they are advertised. There has never been anything invented yet, including war, that a man would enter into, that a woman wouldn’t too. ~Will Rogers

    We’ve begun to raise daughters more like sons… but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

    Our only hope for the redemption of woman from the thralldom of dress lies in the belief that her hitherto limited sphere of activities has been so insufficient for her intellectual occupations that she has been forced to expend her thoughts in decorating her person, instead of enlarging her mind. ~Mercy B. Jackson

    Man up. Toughen up. Harden up. Be a man. You’re a not a ‘real’ man. Grow a pair. Stop your whining. Man flu.
    Men can’t get raped.
    Men are stronger than women.
    If she beat you – you deserved it.
    No man should ever hit a woman, even in self-defense.
    All men are assholes / bastards / pricks. Dickhead.
    How much do you earn? What kind of car do you drive? What suburb do you live in? How are you going to support me?
    Men are hot / more attractive when they are ripped / well-built / not fat / workout – all other guys go on the scrap heap.
    Men always want sex and if he doesn’t there is something wrong with him.
    Men should pay for the first date / or not – depending on the woman and somehow he should know this in advance.
    Be a gentleman, but don’t hold the door for the wrong woman or she will abuse you for it.
    A gentleman always……(x y z )
    A guy and a girl get drunk and have sex. According to the law thanks to feminism HE is the only one with responsibilities.
    An adult woman has sex with a boy and he is “lucky”
    She gets pregnant either by accident or by choice without his consent and HE has no parental rights whatsoever.
    HE can stay home and be the primary caregiver for the preschool years but when the couple divorce – maternal rights are given over paternal rights.
    Boys should respect girls and men should respect women. (NEVER do we see this in reverse). Never hit a girl – even if she is assaulting you.
    We talk about toxic masculinity, but never toxic femininity – as if being toxic is only for men.
    A father kills a child and it’s because he is a violent male. A mother kills a child and she is depressed.

  3. Mark H says:

    Hi, My name is Mark and I’m married. It is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. My wife is an incredible person, my best friend. We were best friends before we married which helps I think. It’s a genuine partnership. We share very similar outlooks on life and aims in life.
    It is hard work being married at times but that’s just being human and living with another person. We are both prone to selfishness as are all humans but we work things through and learn to compromise.
    It has been hugely important to us to have supportive friends and family and a church community to help us in the tough times, for us to draw on wider wisdom.
    A marriage in which two people give of themselves and honour the other, affirming them, learning from them, supporting them, is one of the most beautiful things in the world.
    More people should try it. But know this – if you get married for what you can take from the other person, you’ll ruin your life and theirs.
    It has to be built on self-giving and respect.
    I hope these comments are helpful.
    If anyone is struggling in their marriage I’d encourage you to seek support, not just from people who will agree with you but from people you know who seem to have healthy marriages. They may be able to offer practical support and ideas for how to resolve your difficulties.
    It is cliched I know but the key is good, honest, respectful communication.
    Thanks for reading 🙂

  4. Eric Maymon says:

    I heard a Judge on radio 4 recently say “the law should recognise unmarried couples, who have children and are living together, in the same way as married couples, should their relationship break down”. In other words give the woman his house, his children, his money, half his pension etc.
    Marriage is dying out due to this policy. Men are wising up. So let’s move the goalposts. When men stop living with their partners in response, this policy will move forward again in order to catch them up. I am sure a woman, in these circumstances, will make the claim in court. The Judge
    will find in favour. The Appeal Judges will support his judgement. The government will sadly say they cannot interfere with the court. Their dirty work quietly done. LAW CHANGED! Where then?

    • jjrockmale says:

      True, it won’t change overnight. However, when men as a whole start wising up, the government will wise up after men form as a monolitihic group on the topic and demand change. Or else.

      Will take a while. But we have to start somewhere.

  5. Ken says:

    In NZ after three years together the laws apply whether you are married or not. I’ve been aware of both men and women using the ‘nz matrimonial property act’ as an investment strategy.

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